Author: Ken @konfedence

I was feeling it this morning as I jogged to the Florida Marathon (and half) start line, and not in a good way!  But I was still determined to make the best of it.  I figured sub 90 was still a comfortable goal.  I wouldn’t make the overall podium (and with the competition at todays race I knew that probably wouldn’t even happen on my best day), yet the age group win was still realistic.  The heat would be my ally today.  As a South Floridian who frequently trains mid afternoon, I’m far more adapted to that than most runners.  I found the 1:30 pace leader and said hello.  “Kick me if you pass me” I said, “It means I’m not doing what I should be!”  Lined up near the front, I armed myself with my mantra.  For Sean, Krystle, Linghzi and Martin, pain or no pain, I would get this run done!

The gun went off, and we raced up the road – away from the bridge that beat me up yesterday!  Although that was a comforting thought at first, recalling that this meant I’d be ending the race with it was a bit of a kick in the gut.  I just needed to make sure my first 12 miles were on point.  We still started out on a climb, but the bridge would be the finale!  With the incline, I settled back to my pace quickly and held steady for several miles.  Faster than I thought I’d be running, and still amazingly conversational.  Perhaps this wasn’t going to be as rough of a day as I thought

Mile four was solid.  Downhill and my fastest yet, things were starting to look up…  I ran a bit past a turnaround point before being called back by a volunteer.  I guess I really didn’t want to turn around and go back up!  After a brief corrective surge, that’s were my day got tougher.   Just like yesterday it was the climb that brought on the pain.  My next two miles slowed a bit, but still were reasonable.  Of course that was when we hit the first bridge!

My body ground to a halt.  The pain was excruciating and I was only halfway.  This had abrudbtly turned to a “just finish” day!  Although it was a beautiful course, and the on course entertainment made it an enjoyable event… it certainly wasn’t going to be my day!  The top of that bridge made a great photo for the race photographers, with the beautiful backdrop and the white clad pianist doing his thing.  Cue my death-face… sorry for ruining the shot!  My facial expressions certainly don’t make running look ‘fun’!  Shortly thereafter the first pacer caught me, and no he didn’t kick me.  It sure hurt like he did though!

Mile nine… my worst yet.  I haven’t hurt this much in months.  But I can’t stop.  That would be contrary to everything I am.  Adjust goals… just finish.I found it in me to pick up the pace just a bit.  And then just as quickly, the course gave me a kick to the gut.  Not far up ahead, there loomed that massive bridge.  It was almost taunting me, daring me to run fast and promising to break me.  Yes, I’d run (perhaps not fast), but no… it wouldn’t break me!  I kept moving forward, found the bridge and with the sun beating down, conquered it.  I barely had any juice left in me, and with the pain and my less than ideal time there was no point in pushing the downhill anyway.  Gravity sped me up just a bit, and I powered through the finish.

I collected my medal, downed some water and inhaled some food.  Mission accomplished; not quite the original mission I had set out on though.  In a humorous twist, it was the 1:30 pacer who won the age group – pushing me back to fourth place.  There would be no prize for me today, which was kind of a shame as their awards were actually pretty cool.  As a consolation prize, I still got my Floridiot medal for running both days this weekend.

But no consolation was needed.  Pain or no, I can still run.  And run I did.  It was a good day!  I hung around to enjoy the post race party, congratulated the Brooks Hansons team who dominated todays race and celebrated another beautiful run.

One of the beautiful things about this sport is how varied it can be.  There are races designed to be fast and competitive, and races designed to be fun and scenic.  Races for causes, races for fitness, and races for fun.  All can be incredibly enjoyable, and more-so if you know what you are getting into.  I had no illusions of setting a PR in Islamorada, but when I ventured south with a carful of friends – I knew I was going to have a good time!  Originally the Islamorada Half Marathon, 10K and Beer Mile was scheduled for December of last year, but regrettably Hurricane Irma had something to say about that.  All the more reason to show up at the rescheduled date: the Keys need that tourism to keep rebuilding!  Happy to oblige!  I’d needed a good excuse to visit the Keys for a long time!

So my buddy Kevin drove down on Saturday morning with a carful of runners.  First stop the beer mile!  Now let’s be real… when an event includes a beer mile, it’s very unlikely they take themselves too seriously!  This was going to be a fun race!  It wasn’t going to be about PR’s, but instead about enjoying life!  That said… there’s always room for some friendly competition!  The beer mile was split into two waves: an elite heat and a fun one.  Kevin ran the second, and dominated!  He downed four beers and ran a mile in less time than most people run the mile, and certainly faster than even those in the more ‘serious’ wave!  As he crossed the finish line, Kevin took the mic, and thanked his Boston College education for his ability to put back those beers.  Like I said this was a fun event!  YEAHHHHHH! Even the race announcers demeanor made it clear: relax, have a drink, enjoy life and, yeah, a few miles won’t hurt either!

The other two races were on Sunday morning, and even though I’m still avoiding alcohol with my concussion headaches, my crew certainly enjoyed the night.  Kevin was convinced that I need to follow up his win with one of my own in the morning.  I wan’t so sure.  With this being my seventh half in just over a month I wasn’t going to break my back over it.  Instead I’d run a solid pace, and would see where that put me.  Far more important to have fun.

Well the race started, and the pack spread out real quick.  We ran north just under two miles before turning back.  By the time we passed the host venue around mile 3.5 only two people were in front of me.  One of them was my friend Jasmel, who was running the 10K.  The other was a half marathoner, and he looked strong but not out of reach.  If I wanted to win this race, I wasn’t going to do so physically.  I’d have to win the mental battle.  And that was something I had no doubt I could do… so much so that I even told the bike lead I was going to do it.

So we raced south, with the lead runner ‘comfortably’ ahead, but still in sight.  It was a simple course… there’s not even too many turns you can take traveling through the keys.  Lots of straightaway through beautiful but still quite devastated areas.  It was simultaneously stunning scenery, and almost depressing to see how much damage there still was from the storm.  Mother Nature can be ruthless!

If I was going to win this race, I had to be too… at least with my mental game.  There was a turn around near mile eight.  I would hang back until then, running exactly what I needed to keep the lead in my sight.  When he turned, and passed me on the way back I wanted to be at least a full minute behind.  A comfortable lead, or so he’d think!  So I eased up on miles seven and eight.  Extra perk: it allowed me to take in the smell of the ocean!  Despite living only a few blocks from the beach, this was the first time I’d smelled the sea since I got hit over two years ago!  Once again, while running, I’d caught a brief scent!  My hope for an eventual full healing soared!  It’s just a matter of time.

I was about seven and a half in when he turned around.  As soon as he was past, I picked up my pace.  Within a mile I’d catch him.  He was wearing headphones, so he didn’t even hear me as I fell in step behind him.  Right around the nine mile mark I made my move.  I wasn’t going to be able to win a physical battle today.  A sprint to the finish line would not go my way.  So this needed to be decisive.  With four miles to go I floored it and ran my fastest mile of the day.  I heard his step break as I passed him.  He was physically fine, but I’d broken his spirit.  Victory was most likely mine.  A mile later I eased up just a bit, then kept a steady push to the finish.  Sure enough, there was no one in sight.  Even though my overall pace remained right around what he’d been running, the psychological hit of seeing me breeze past him looking comfortable… well it broke him.  He probably thought he had it all wrapped up, and then suddenly he didn’t.  I’d kept my pace on target, but I’m pretty sure he slowed those last four miles.  Another runner caught him as well.

I’ve mastered the brain game.  With everything I’ve gone through these past five years, I’m 100% confident that I’m psychologically invincible.  I’ve no doubt of my ability to win the brain game every time.  That’s what I set out to do today, and thats exactly what I did.  Now it was time to celebrate.  Kevin won the beer mile, Jasmel the 10K, and I’d taken the half.  A South Beach sweep!  Now it was time for the important stuff: party time!

Today was my third half marathon in just over two weeks.  I think it’s safe to say I’m back.  Still injured, still in a lot of pain. But two important things have happened: 1) I have been healing and am steadily getting better.  2) I’ve learned to cope with the pain better – discerning that fine line between discomfort pain and destructive pain, and damn I’m going to do just that.

I made the trip out to Naples with my buddy Bryan.  In 2014, I think he PR’d here when we made the trip together.  This weekend I was ready to at least PTR (Post Traumatic Record).  It would be redemption for Naples 2016.  I had planned to run it again then, but just a few short weeks after being hit I wouldn’t have been able to run very fast anyway.  This year would be very different.  The night before the race I inhaled a tub of ice cream, jokingly recalling how I ran a great race at one point after doing just that.  Perhaps this would be the same?

It was a chilly morning.  That sucked until the race started, but that meant it was perfect PR conditions.  The Naples Daily News Half Marathon is a flat, fast and highly competitive race.  There is a lot of shade, and while there are several turn arounds, they are on cul-de-sacs, so they are not sharp turns.  It’s great for a PR even in decent weather.  But this year wasn’t just decent, it really was ideal!  I remember telling Bryan about my specific long term PR goal.  I wanted Boston pace – 6:17 per mile (617 being the area code for Boston phones).  I wasn’t looking for 6:16 pace, I could do that another time.  I wanted exactly 6:17 as my PR for just a little while!  I felt good, and was still flying high after my win two weeks ago.  I was confident that healthy I could comfortably smoke that pace.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that if I removed injuries from the equation, I’m at close to 6 minute conditioning.  So 1:22:xx was a very reasonable target.  In the back of my mind I could feel that this might be the day.  Even if not, I wanted a PTR.  Running the fastest race I’ve had since being hit would still be a solid accomplishment.  It was time!

As we lined up at the start, I got a bit distracted chatting with one of my new friends that I’d met in Delray, and also with a random girl wearing Boston marathon apparel.  Boston always gets me pumped!  That’s what it’s all about!  Before I knew it the gun had gone off… I wasn’t even ready.  Oops!  But I was in a good mood.  For Boston I would run this race.  For Boston at a 6:17 pace.  And so I did!

Over the first few miles I felt quite good.  My body was flowing.  Stride after stride.  Quickly, relatively comfortably… I was moving fast!  Before the first turn around, I saw Bryan fly by me.  “Go Bryan!” I yelled “Screw the PTR, I’m gonna PR today!”  I could feel it.  Today was the day!  I was nowhere near the front of this race… it’s way too competitive for that.  But I was right where *I* needed to be.  I was running my race, and it just felt right.  I remember joking to another runner nearby towards the end of the race: “It’s amazing how even when you have the race of your life, there’s always somebody ten times faster!”  Yeah… I was flying, but there was some serious space between myself and the winners!  But again, it didn’t matter.  I was running my race, they were running theirs.

I kept going.  Even though my back did start bugging me, it was on the discomfort side of the dial.  I would deal with it.  Today was my day!  I raced past a church, where the priest was sprinkling runners with holy water!  Yes, I was blessed to be here today, and to be having such an incredible race.  I never looked at my splits.  I just ran what felt right.  I trusted myself.  When I crossed that finish line, I was ecstatic!  I’d not only PTR’d… I’d PR’d!  I beaten the record I set in Tartu, Estonia during the summer of 2015.  And I’d finished at exactly 6:17 pace!  Those were my intentions.  Those were my actualizations.  2018, let’s rock!

I seem to have developed an affinity for getting to know a course in advance by camping out alongside it.  You know… it’s yielded some pretty solid results too.  Today was another of those.  After laying my weary head just off the course for the night, I woke pre-bright and early to head to the start.  I was excited for this race.  I was feeling good, and ready to end what had been a really, really rough year.  But I wasn’t going out with a whimper.  I was going out in style.  Life has been kicking me around a lot recently, it was time for me to have my say.

The Delray Beach Half Marathon is a small race put on by the folks at Bad Ass Running.  Race size is capped somewhere around 100, so this race does sell out.  I love that the smaller events tend to attract people who are passionate about the sport, and the community.  In some ways that makes it more appealing to me than highly commercial events.  It’s a great, small event with some pretty awesome people.  I wouldn’t hesitate to run it again.  There were nice shirts and medals, standard post race chow options and enough volunteers to make sure everything went smoothly.  This race does occur entirely on the sidewalk, and although runners are going in both directions at some points, it’s actually not an issue.  With the low cap of overall runners, and a staggered multi-wave start, the field spreads out enough that you aren’t tripping over each other.

I was in the second wave, and very quickly distanced myself from the rest of the group.  I felt good today.  My back hurt, but it wasn’t nearly as crippling as usual.  I was going to run with it.  Forget the clock, I wasn’t touching my phone. I was running solely on feel.  On what felt right.  My body knows what its capable of on any given day far better than any technology does.  So I ran, and I ran fast.  Within a couple of miles, I was passing many of the runners from the first wave.  There’s a bit of a boost when you pass someone, and I took advantage of that to keep fueling me through this course.  I made it a goal to see if I could catch ALL of the runners from the first wave.  I had no idea how fast they were running, so that just meant I had to run super fast myself.  As the miles ticked by I had fewer and fewer targets ahead to pick off.  I knew how many there were… I had counted at the first turn around.  Before I knew it there was only one ahead of me!  Since he’d had nearly a ten minute head start and was running at a solid clip, I knew the chances of catching him were slim.  But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try.

I kept going, one foot in front of the other – at exactly the pace my body wanted to go.  I was feeling good.  Winning this race, on New Years Eve, would be a pretty epic middle finger to 2017.  This would be the last thing I did for the year.  I was going to make it count.  I’ve dealt with plenty of pain and discomfort these past few years.  No way I was going to let it get in the way of me being me.  I was running, and damn it, today I was winning.

In the end I didn’t catch him, although I did finish nearly four minutes faster.  I’ve won a race in the past with the second fastest time, so I wasn’t sure how this was supposed to work.  Per USA T&F rules, the overall winners are determined by gun time, while the age group awards are by chip time.  It makes sense if you think about it, but how would that apply when my gun time was different than the gun time of the first guy across the finish line?   If it was my choice, I’d have left the decision up to the first finisher.  If I were in his shoes, I’d want the overall win if I knew I could have beaten the other guy, while if I knew the other guy was just flat out better that day I’d acquiesce the second place finish.  It was out of my control.  I’d already done my part and quite frankly wasn’t too concerned about the official title of winner.  I did MY best, and I was quite happy with it.

So of course my day wasn’t yet over.  I talk about the running community all the time.  I’m proud to be a part of it.  My race was over, now I had plenty of time to go and cheer on the rest of the crew!  I made some great new friends at the finish line and once again, I stayed to the very end.  We all had a great run to celebrate!   In the end the discussion of who won was a moot point.  We both won the same prize – bluetooth speakers.

I was pumped with how I ran today, and yes winning a half marathon was a great way to kick 2017 into the rearview mirror.  Life did have to get its own little laugh in though – awarding me a bluetooth speaker for my efforts.  Shame I can’t use it with my ongoing brain issues.  Haha very funny life.  Don’t worry… I’ll continue to heal and eventually I will be able to not only use that prize, but win others.  Peace out 2017, I’m ready for a great 2018!

It’s the holiday season and there is no better way to spend it than with good company doing things you love.  So obviously I had to do lots of running.  I also wanted to bring a very rough 2017 to a close on a positive note.  Cue the magic word: Running.  What better way to celebrate than back to back halves?  One on trails, one on the road.  One for the views, and one more for the speed.  Both surrounded by our incredible running community.

I’d read good reviews of the FL.ROC Trails races, and Princess Place in Palm Coast sounded like a great place to run.  Florida trails would of course be flat, and these particular ones were great novice trails.  If you’ve never run a trail race before, this is a great course to introduce you to the beauty of trail running.  You are missing out on something magical!

At race start, it was still a bit chilly for my liking, so I took the first lap of this two lap course a bit overdressed.  At the end of my first lap, the pants and jacket came off and were stashed next to a tree where I could easily reclaim them after the run.  I wasn’t the first nor the last to shed some layers, as by the end of my race many of the nearby trees were also markers for other runners clothing.  Great minds think alike, right?

This year, some serious rainfall had necessitated a few short sections of ‘replacement trails’ (as the originals were submerged and this is neither a mud run or a river crossing trail run).  The race staff did a great job of making sure the course was fully passable without swimming through the mud.  Of course, anyone that chose to was more than welcome to get a little dirty.  To the best of my knowledge, no one did.  I was going easy today, so I certainly opted to stay dry.  Todays run was all about the joy of running amidst natures beauty.  I took my time, soaked it in and had a wonderful run.  And for my bling loving friends: the finishers metal was quite badass!  I personally prefer them a bit smaller, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that this one was pretty sweet.  It did have an eagle on it, so I’m sure that influenced my opinion, especially after meeting a few fellow Boston College Eagles at the race!

After my run was over, I bundled back up.  It wasn’t exactly cold… but I’m a wimp these days when it comes to lower temperatures.  Once I was done running, my body cooled down and I wanted that jacket back!  Jogged over to my trusted tree, grabbed my gear, then hung out in that area cheering on all the other runners to their finish.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: if you want to hear inspiring stories and see serious mental grit, look to the back of the pack!  Those folks always have a strong WHY to get them to the finish line, and I love doing what I can to support them.

Today’s run was definitely a success.  This is how I wanted to remember 2017, and this is how I will.  Despite it all, I’m still running… and loving it!