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Starting with 2014s BostonStrong, I’ve chosen a word to define my year, every year. It has always been spot on, and there has always been an unanticipated (but perfectly) fitting twist. Live (’15), Alive (’16), Survive (’17), Thrive (’18), Epic (’19), Renew (’20), Serenity (’21), Empower (’22) and Blossom (’23) all very well defined my growth that year.

Last year I set a second half intention as well: Blend. Last years second half theme, and some of the inspiration for this years specific choice unintentionally mesh in ways I’d not initially realized, and I can’t wait to see the growth that transpires within this trajectory as the year progresses.

This years theme is decidedly darker. And very deliberately so. This year, I am BROKEN!

I first watched M. Night Shyamalan’s thriller “Split” in October of 2016. The timing of that, and the strength I harnessed within myself immediately following that is another story for another time. But there is good reason my old steel roadie 🚲 is named The Beast, and I cannot thank him enough for this supervillain origin story from which I’ve since cherry-picked aspects to bring to light in my own personality and journey.

(SPOILER ALERT) – Diving into the darkness of this years theme necessitates an understanding of Split plot lines and character development. Linked below, is the most crucial five minutes… which left me walking out of the theater, my head throbbing with concussion headaches, but extremely fired up.

“We are glorious. We will no longer be afraid. Only through pain can you achieve your greatness.”

Indeed it has thus far been predominantly through pain I have found MY greatness. Only, and the implied correlation to trauma, is something The Beast and I disagree on. Trauma is not the ONLY way. Just because it has been mine since I was a child does not mean everyone must suffer. This is one of the reasons I love pacing marathons. Though we could have discussions on whether running your first, fastest, or any marathon constitutes ‘pain’… the growth through running is very real. I’ve seen so many people blossom, both within and beyond the sport, as a result of those efforts. Physically, emotionally, spiritually this sport lifts us. I love being a part of that… Of seeing people awaken their own greatness without the traumas so many of us endure.

“Those who have not been torn (often) have no value in themselves…. They are asleep.”

Here again The Beast and I mostly agree. There are many who have found self worth and value without being torn asunder. I was NOT one of them. I accept that. Traumas have repeatedly jarred me from sleepwalking blindly through life. And I will use the awakening I found through that suffering to lift me further yet. That will always be PART of who I am.

“Your ____ cannot hurt me… Kevin is a man. I am much more!”

Bullies, bombs, betrayal. It’s all the same. These have tried, and failed, to destroy me. They DID hurt me once (ehh many times actually), but I am resilient. I emerged stronger every time. I will continue to do so.

“You are different from the rest. Your heart is pure. Rejoice. The Broken are the more evolved. Rejoice!”

THIS will be my 2024. In the movie, only the Broken survive. I was Broken many times. I remain Broken now. In some ways I will always be Broken. Yet in the darkness of those traumas, I have always found the Light. I have learned to harness it, focus it, and magnify it. I am NOT split, Ken holds the Light, and choses to blend all the best together. Inhuman strength and agility. That sounds pretty sweet to me!

This past year broke me in ways I’d not thought possible. Blossom was not meant to be the year in which I buried my best friend 🐕, and along with him my 💔. But flowers are seasonal… perhaps what blossomed last year was necessary to awaken the potential for a far more bountiful and longer lasting harvest. Those bulbs lay just below the surface at this very moment, waiting for the right time. When they emerge, it will be more glorious than before. Seriously… The best fertilizer is 💩. And you do realize the utter darkness in which 💎 form, right?

In 2023, my running was at its best when I was MOST broken. While some may wallow in self pity, I see it as a trampoline. The deeper, the darker I go… the more I rebound into pure Light. Mere days after the lowest point of the year I set a huge marathon PR – despite the fact that I’d done ZERO proper training or speedwork in half a decade. Rejoice indeed!

Perhaps this year is just a sacrifice:

• An opportunity to wrestle my demons. In high school, I may not have known how to push my own buttons. Now I do. There will be no mercy on this mat.
• It is a chance to tame some more dragons.
  Zaldrīzes buzdari iksos daor. No, but they will purr curled up at my feet. And will scorch the earth at my bidding, by choice.
• Now is the time I slay the giant. Goliath was always doomed. That which has enslaved me, held me back or otherwise impaired my growth has no place anymore.

Things will be very different this year. Honestly, a lot of it doesn’t thrill me. I’m going to miss pacing. I’m going to miss frequent race events. I’ll be spending a lot of time holed up here at the Hobo Hideout getting my life in order.

But I’m excited. That time will allow me to focus entirely on my health and wellness. I’m not afraid of the dark. I’ve faced it many times before. And the wisdom I bring into the pain cave with me this year? I can’t imagine the transformation my high school self would have gone through if he’d had even a fraction of the understanding I do now!

The Beast chose to remain Broken, to remain in the darkness. I chose otherwise. Inevitably parts of self will break again. But I have a firm grip on the Light. The darkness I face will do my bidding. It has before, and it will sleep far, far away when I so require. Now I am battered and Broken, but this is merely the starting line to an Unbreakable future. I couldn’t quite bench 350lb in 2000 either, but there’s time yet. 2025 spoiler alert perhaps? 😼 14 year old me feels like I’ve been here before. 16 year old me smirks knowing what comes next…

It’s been over a year since my last post.  My latest is now live over at Marathon Maniacs.  Click through and let me know what you think.  I’ll write more if that’s what folks want, otherwise I’ll stick to the running!

From the Ashes…

Where do I even begin? This past several years has been nothing short of epic! Although I’ve had every reason to be miserable and depressed, pining away the days crying in a bed somewhere… instead I’ve been happier than I ever thought possible. Some fundamental life choices have made all the difference in that outcome.

It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed celebrating my birthday.  It’s just another day… except now I’m 86400 seconds older than I was yesterday.  Which is exactly the same thing I could say yesterday, and if I’m lucky will be able to say tomorrow.  I’m not a year older today.  Just a day older.  Yes, now I can say I’m 38.  But I’m also a year closer to death.

You see I don’t celebrate birthdays… I celebrate *everyday*.  I don’t know which will be my last, so I live each moment with no regrets.  In many ways I’m living on borrowed time right now.  Between the marathon bombing shattering my psyche and that hit and run devastating my body two and a half years ago… perhaps I should be dead already.

Yet I’m still here.  Sort of.

It’s been a rough month.  I lost my home.  The condo in South Beach that I thought would be my home base until old age or sea level rise washed it away – I was given the boot and no place to go.  I’d lived there for longer than anywhere else in my life, and it was the first place that I actually considered my long term home.  And just like that it was gone.

Losing that home set off a chain reaction… since my brain still doesn’t function right, I still can’t manage a regular job.  Miami isn’t exactly a cheap place to live, so there was no way I could get by anymore in the 305.  Good-bye Miami!  I don’t have any other choice.  Of course that meant I couldn’t get to my few remaining clients anymore – the few that had held on through my injuries, and were understanding enough to wait months or years for appointments, let my errors slide, deal with last minute health issues, and still stick with me.  SoBeMac had survived so many things.  I’d poured my heart and sole into that business, and with great sacrifice kept it on life support these past few years.  Just like that… it was over.  RIP SoBeMac.

The worst part was that this move-out has been the absolute worst thing for my health.  Doctors told me to rest my brain until 7 days after the last headache.  It’s been years since the last time I didn’t have a headache… so I’m supposed to be avoiding stress and loud environments.   Yeah right…

I feel like I’ve regressed back to where I was the moment I was hit.  I can barely stay upright at times, sometimes wearing a bicycle helmet walking around to protect me from my inevitable falls.  Back, leg and neck pain levels are through the roof and whats left of my brain feels like its going to explode.  I still can’t get healthcare and I’m legally barred from seeking compensation for my injuries.   It’s going to be a long road to recovery.

Somehow I’m still not worried!  I’m an endurance athlete, a distance runner.  I’ll find my way to the finish.  I don’t know where I’m going to end up.  I don’t know how I’m going to get there.  But I do know that I will persevere.  I do know that I will get through this, and somehow end up on my feet at the other side.  Left foot, right foot, face plant is still forward progress.  As long as I keep getting back up and keep trudging forward, I will be OK.

Over these past few years, my running, and my running family have been pretty much all I’ve had.   These are the things that have kept me going, and will continue to do so.  So as I search for a place to rest my weary head, pardon the meager updates.  Whether it is through this blog or in other ways, wherever I end up I will continue to be a part of the running community.  You’ve all been my family, and I can’t imagine how things would have ended up without you.  I’ll still post on social media when I can get online, and will try my best to respond to those who reach out.  I’m not sure what the future of this blog will be, but I know I will keep running

Yes, I am now officially #HoboRunner

 

There are days when I wake up and feel great.  The pain is still there, my brain is still off… but relatively speaking I feel like I’m on top of the world.  There are also days like today.  From early on I often know its going to be a rough one.  When I got moving first thing this morning, I felt way off.  I hoped it would be something I could shrug off.  I was wrong.

I’d already adjusted my expectations.  Most days, 1:30ish is my general target.  It’s a solid workout, but not a backbreaker.  If the circumstances are right, I’ll adjust to a quicker target pace.  When its bad weather, a hilly course or I’m just not feeling it I have to adapt in the other direction.  The weather was nice this morning, and I’ve crushed worse hills.  On the other hand, I just wasn’t feeling it.  I lined up near the front, just ahead of the 1:45 pace group.  I figured I’d go for a 1:40, and if I really struggled could just fall back and run with them.  This wasn’t going to be the moderately fast race I’d hoped when the weekend started.  

As the hot summer sun started to beat down, the Hotlanta Half Marathon took off from the Coca-Cola museum.  Almost immediately we started to climb.  Of course, that meant I slowed substantially.  I was sure I’d recover after the climb, but today it just wasn’t happening.  Between the frequent ups and downs on the course and my general health this morning… yeah… I just needed to finish.  Right from the beginning I sensed how off my brain was.  Yes, my back was killing me.  Yes, my legs were killing me.  But that’s only pain.  I can handle that.  It won’t kill me.  The problem today was that my brain was off.  As soon as I increased my exertion level, I noticed it: my balance was off.  This was a problem.  I tuned into it… I wasn’t exactly running easily today.  There was a bit of a stumble in my steps.  I’m pretty sure I would have failed the ‘walk the line’ DUI test.  This did not bode well for the next 12 plus miles.  Now, I just hoped I could stay with the 1:45 pace team.   That would be acceptable.  If not, just finish…

Normally, I pay more attention to the race course.  Normally I immerse myself in the run, in the race environment.  Today, it took everything I had just to keep myself upright and moving forward.  We raced past some downtown Atlanta landmarks, Olympic stadiums and along the beltway trail.  For the first half and change, I stayed in proximity of the pace team.  At mile 6.5, they break out singing “Whoaaaa we’re half way there! Whoaaaa! Living on a prayer!”  Normally I’d be all about that.  Today, I just focused on my steps.  We hit mile 8 – time for my strong MR8K finish.  I picked it up a bit, and quickly regretted it.  I’m certainly healthier now than I was two years ago.  Although I almost did (multiple times), this time I did not fall.  I stumbled, I slowed, but I did not stop.  These last four miles were going to be quite rough.

The pace team now well ahead of me, we raced through the most shaded portion of the course: Piedmont Park.  I couldn’t exactly enjoy it though.  I was battling some serious physical demons.  Each mile seemed to take forever.  Some days the miles flow by.  The race starts and it seems like only five minutes later I’m already at mile ten.  Today it seemed like I’d been running for an hour before I hit the next mile marker.  Then two more before I hit the next.  This sucked.

Now I’m worrying about if the 2:00 pace team will catch me.  I didn’t want another 2+ half.  It’s frustrating knowing that I’m so much better than this, yet that someone else’s sins are still forcing me to suffer.  But damn it!  I will not let that negativity define my life.  I will defy the odds, and I will live the life I choose to live.  Pain won’t stop that.  Suffering is a blessing: I’m still alive to experience it!  So I keep trudging along.  Honestly… I worry that I will fall, that I won’t be able to catch myself with my next stumble.  So I run slowly, carefully, focusing solely on that slow forward progress.  I see a familiar sight ahead – we run past Georgia Tech’s football stadium.  I’d been here for a BC game years back.  Despite everything that has happened since then: I’m still alive to make this return trip.  I continue plodding forward.  It feels like I’ve been running forever, and I’ve still got a bit left to go.

Finally, cresting the top of a hill, I see the finish arch ahead!  Finally!  But I don’t dare try to kick; I’d probably fall if I did.  So I coast through the finish.  Yes, todays run had been hell.  But I’ve been through hell before and hell ain’t got nothin’ on me!  It wasn’t pretty, and my beloved running… well today it wasn’t fun.  But I did what I needed to.  I’ve said for the past two years that this ordeal will teach me to be perfectly in tune with my body.  Today was just another tuneup.  If I can get it done when things are tough, I’ll be that much stronger on the brighter days.

I’d looked forward to exploring this course. I’d looked forward to relaxing at the afterparty.   Not today… I’ll need to come back for this race again, on a day when my brain is a bit more functional.  For today, I spent nearly two hours focusing entirely on self.  I made sure every step I took continued my momentum.  Little things we take for granted – today they needed all my attention.  Now that the run was done, it was time for my most critical activity these past two years.  I found a quiet corner of the park and took a nap.

I love the Boston Marathon.  It’s been my favorite day of the year for many years, and it’s a big day for many, many runners.  This is our Super Bowl, and runners have earned the right to be here through some serious hard work.  Many have trained for years to get that qualifying time in.  Others have put in some serious work to fundraise for their chosen charity.  This is the reward.  Yes… running 26.2 miles is the reward.  We runners are a strange bunch.

This year the expo was at the Seaport Convention Center.  While that did have a few advantages, overall I think Hynes is a much better fit.  At Hynes you spill out the door of the expo and you are practically at finish line.  I think it’s just easier logistics for runners.  Since that finish line is the ultimate goal for so many people there, it’s the perfect fit to have the expo nearby.  That said, the Seaport does allow for a more decorated ‘entryway’ to the expo, since it’s not smack dab in the center of the city.   That did create a pretty sweet photo op!

Another gripe I had with this years expo was the layout of the floor.  The massive official merchandise booth was right in the center, which is fine… except that its so large it requires walls with only a few entryways and a single post-checkout exit.  This makes the whole show seem a bit smaller.  It also makes it easier to miss entire sections of the expo that are on less trafficked sides of that wall.  I spent most of the weekend at the expo, and I still missed a few booths.  I’d much rather see the official merchandise booth be a part of the funnel: Enter, pickup bib, pickup shirt, official merchandise, then dropped out into main show floor.  Of course there should be a prominent entrance back into this booth from the show floor side.

As I said earlier… this is the reward.  Starting with the expo and all the way through the post race party, the resulting energy is powerful all weekend long.   30,000 runners and their friends and families are celebrating.  This is the energy that first attracted me to the marathon, and that I can’t get enough of.  As you walk around the expo hall, you can feel it.  Runners exude an aura of accomplishment and excitement.  They were here!  They made it to Boston!  As soon as I arrive, I can feel myself start to glow.  This is what I live for!

Vendors from all over come to show their wares to these athletes.  Surely, these are the ones who take their sport seriously and need to know about their products!  All sorts of cool stuff to try out.  Samples, sales, demonstrations, discussions.  All the best of what our sport has to offer.  I’m wowed every year by some of the great technology I see (for example Solos and Stryd).  These are gadgets I’d love to put to work!  Then there are some of the simple solutions that really do make a difference.  I always look forward to finding my friends from the RooSport at this and other expos.  I’ve sworn by their pouch for many years now.  It’s simple and it works.  No belt, just a simple magnet to hold your pouch to the clothes you are already wearing.  RaceDots use the same basic concept to comfortably attach your race bib.  All sorts of apparel is available: from Boston Marathon memorabilia to general running gear.  Safety products like Brilliant Reflective designed to make us more visible on the road (or, as I half jokingly say, also makes us a target to some Miami drivers) and recovery products like the Stick designed to get us back out on the road!  Gels, bars, chews and drinks, you can easily find your nutritional needs.  Massage chairs and recovery boots… you name it, it’s here!  Between the festive energy, the cool stuff and the giveaways and samples, I joke that this is Halloween for runners.

But there’s more!  Book signings and event promotions. Running legends and heroes.  I end up spending the entire weekend here, as well as contemplating a million other future races.  From Gasparilla, which I’ve run many times before, to races around the country and the world which I hope to run one day, and the dream to do list Marathon Tours consistently provides… all the way up to one of my bucket list headliners: The World Marathon Challenge.  7 marathons, 7 continents, 7 days.  Yes!  I’m that crazy!   I just need a sponsor to make that happen!  It’s not just Mondays race: The entire Boston Marathon weekend rocks!

With the change in location though, I was torn on Sunday… part of me wanted to go back and spend the day at the expo again.  Part of me felt the need to be exactly where I was just five years earlier.  The finish area and Old South Church were calling my name!  Regrettably, the transit time meant I’d have to choose.  I was glad I’d made the expo on Saturday, as an important find made that choice easier.  I’d honor that five years at the Martin Richard Foundation booth.  I set an alarm on my iPhone and made sure I had enough time to get to the booth before 2:49.  For the past five years, Martins spirit has been a large part of what has propelled me forward despite my own challenges.  I could think of no better way than to honor his memory than to be there with those who were equally inspired by his legacy

So at 2:49 we held a moment of silence.  A few minutes later, there was an expo wide moment of silence.  Five years ago five good people were lost, but their memories will be forever honored.  Today is One Boston Day:  We pause to reflect on those we’ve lost, to uphold their legacies, and focus on all the good this great loss has inspired.  Tomorrow, once again, I would run in their honor.  Tomorrow, Boston and the entire running community will observe Patriots Day.  We will always celebrate the greatness that is the Boston Marathon, and how now more than ever it reflects the triumph of the human spirit!  We will collectively honor the tradition of this race.  For Dennis.  For Sean.  For Krystle.  For Lingzi.  For Martin.

FOR BOSTON!

I set some pretty ambitious goals this year.  While I’ve refused from the very beginning to let the injuries from that hit and run *define* me, I’ve made a conscious choice that I’m no longer going to let it have a negative effect on me either.  My back to back solid halves to end last year put me in a good place to start 2018.  I am going to ride that momentum.  While I’ll never be the same person I was before I got hit… I can choose to make the new me a better me.  I’m rebuilding my brain and my body to be what I choose it to be.

Running has been important to me for a good chunk of my life.  It shaped me in high school as I grew into a man.  Even though I neglected it for so many years, it welcomed me back lovingly.  After the emotional trauma I suffered nearly five years ago in Boston – running has brought out the best of me.  It has taught me the beauty of life, and the choice of happiness.  And then again after the physical trauma from two years ago – running was pretty much the only thing that made me feel alive, and as such may have been what was actually keeping me alive.  Clearly it should come as no surprise that my aggressive goals for this year have a lot to do with running.

I will run more miles this year than I ever have.

I will run at least twenty half marathons this year.

I will set several personal bests this year, including a BQ (Boston Qualifier)

Quite simply: I will run this year.  Further and faster and more passionately than ever.

But my fitness goals don’t stop there.  I’ll be adding in some yoga, stretching and activities of the sort to bring back (and surpass) the balance and flexibility I lost when I got hit.  I’ll be adding in more body weight exercises to start building up some strength again, to further protect and heal my injured self.  Most importantly though, I’ll continue to become one with myself.  To learn my bodies limits, and exactly how far I can push them.  Boston taught me everything I needed to know about my inner self:  It made me psychologically invincible.  Surviving this hit and run will make me physically formidable.

So I’m starting this year off on great path.  As tempting as Disney Marathon weekend is…I didn’t get to race it this time around. I’m sure at some point I’ll totally rock the Dopey Challenge.  Maybe 2019?  2020?  Congrats to all my running family who ran this weekend, at Disney, another race or just a fun run wherever they may have been.  2018 is gonna rock folks.  Let’s live it up, one step at a time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH7W60V4X2E

 

I’ve been running in Brooks shoes for many, many years.  From my Brooks Beast that I wore for stabilization in college and until I rediscovered regular running in 2012, to the Racer ST 5 which I’m burning through regularly with my recent mileage, they’ve always been good to me.  I love my running shoes, it’s one thing I won’t skimp on.  Happy, healthy running = happy, healthy Ken.  So as soon as I get close to 500 miles, its time to lace up a new pair.  I’ve already got a fresh pair just waiting for my current shoes to wear out.

These have been dark days, but I couldn’t help but smile when I saw this recent ad from Brooks.  It’s an incredibly well done ad (just like the shoes) and it pretty much sums up things for me lately.  Those zombies… thats how I feel most of the day.  The continuing health issues from being hit by that mini are killing me.  Pain, agony, frustration, plus the reality that my brain still isn’t the way it should be.  Stupid Ken strikes again basically describes everything I do these days.  I spend most of my day in bed, which is certainly not the way an outdoorsy, active person like myself would like to pass time. What little time I can drag myself out of bed… I’m slow, creaky, brainless and the last thing a sane person wants to see… just like those zombies.  It’s making me crazy.  I want this suffering to end, to just return to the way things were a few months ago.  While far from perfect, I was healthy then, and that made all the difference in the world.  Now, I’m pretty much a zombie.

Then, every time I reach for my running shoes… every time I set out for a run… I feel life coursing through my veins again.  I don’t usually move nearly as fast as I would have been pre-roadkill state, but (and this is crucial) I FEEL ALIVE AGAIN!  For that one or two hours, I am alive.  In pain? Yes, certainly.  But my why is far more powerful than the pain, and I run on.  I can’t be crazy about it… I know that, and no crazy hard workouts for a while still.  But a nice easy run is still a run.  Every time I get that run in, just like those zombies, my body flows smoother, and my attitude shifts.  Running makes me feel alive.  Running makes me happy.  Running is an essential part of who I am.  A million things may change around me, but that one thing will keep me going regardless.  Running is transformational.

Yet, that was nearly taken from me in December.  My life, my health pushed to the brink.  But I’m still here.  I needed to get back up and run.  That is precisely what I did, and what I will continue to do.  I learned in Boston how quickly the things you take for granted can be taken from you, and how important it is to appreciate everything and everyday.  Then in December I was given a brutal reminder of that.  Right now, I may not have much.  But I have my own two feet and the ability to put one in front of the other.  I can still run.  I am still alive.  I’ve got many more miles in front of me

One of my favorite things about running is hearing other peoples stories.  Why do they run?  What started them out?  What kept them going?  These are the most inspiring stories.  From cancer survivors beating the disease and then conquering a marathon, to those fighting depression or obesity and bettering themselves, to those running in honor of others, for those who can’t – ask a runner why they run.  You are likely to be inspired by their answer

Years ago, I ran because it made me feel good.  A nice runners high was always a good thing.  Maybe I was a junkie, but man, oh man, did it feel good.  I ran because it kept me in shape.  I ran because it was what I knew.  Really it wasn’t anything super special.  I just wanted to run.  Maybe thats why it was so easy to slip out of that running routine in college.  That lack of ‘why’… and so I got lazy

But over the past few years that changed drastically.  Now my why is unstoppable.  As I battled the demons in my head post ’13 Boston Marathon, I found an invincible why.   Now I run for Sean.  For Krystle.  For Lingzi.  For Martin.  Now I run for Boston.   When life throws a curveball?  I hit a home run.  When life (or a mini cooper) knocks me down? I get back up, with *more* determination.  Torn rotator cuff last year could have easily stopped me from reaching my goal of doing my first triathlon.  Sorry.  Not gonna happen.  I just developed the Bandit Kick.  I couldn’t swim with my arms, so I just lay on my back and kicked.  Challenge accepted.  And conquered.  The same goes for my current trials.  It would be sooooooo easy to give up now.  To throw in the towel.  That mini did a number on me.  (Seriously, car vs human being?  talk about unfair…)  I’m in constant pain.  My back, my neck, my head, my knees.  Still have lingering pain in the knees and the shoulder.  This would have sidelined most people, or worse.  But that pain pales in comparison to my why.  It cannot stop me.  t will not stop me.   

My brain (on the brink and damaged as Buster Douglas’ was) just barely survived that knockout/killer blow.  Down, but not out.  Somehow he got up.  And somehow I got up.  Tyson went for the kill, and failed.  Our legal/political/criminal/medical system is going for the kill here.  And will fail.  His reason, his drive, his desire to win… his why was stronger.  So is mine.  Sean Collier, Krystle Campbell, Lingzi Lu and Martin Richard are not here today to run themselves.  For them, and all the others:  I will not stay down.  I will get up.  I will fight.  I will run.  And I will win.  I don’t care what is thrown at me next.  Jab, hook, upper cut, mini cooper, medical bills… My will… My why is stronger

Life… you never know what its going to throw at you. But one thing is for certain. You can be sure its going to be loaded with obstacles. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Seriously, how many people would really chose an existence with no challenge, no work required. It sounds great at first, but then you start to think about it. Suddenly there is nothing to motivate, nothing to inspire, nothing to compel you. Sure, relaxing on a Caribbean beach, without a care in the world is great: For vacation. But then throw me back fire. I love challenge. Because it requires greatness to overcome. It pushes us forward, as individuals and as a society. We become stronger, faster, smarter, more resilient because of it. As tough, as painful as the hurdles we must clear can be… we know the reward waiting for us, both physically and mentally is worth it

Ask any marathoner. Running 26.2 miles is no joke. Thats why it’s called the marathon. The first guy that ran it, died right after he finished. So we willingly take up that challenge (theoretically with a bit more preparation than Pheidippides had) and suffer through 26.2 miles. But when we finish… wow when we finish! We are on top of the world. We’ve accomplished the seemingly impossible, conquered the vast distance, and ourselves. Some are content doing it once, proving to themselves that they have what it takes. Others, immediately start thinking about the next, bigger, challenge. It’s in our DNA to strive for greatness. Overcoming obstacles is what we are here to do

This weekend, I was looking forward to competing. I was registered for Soldier Rush and later Survival Beach. Both obstacle races in the area on Saturday. This is definitely outside of my comfort zone, and quite a challenge. I can run, but was I ready for the obstacles? I was going to push myself hard and see what I was capable of with the first. Then head to the next and do it all over again. One wasn’t enough. I like the challenge, the thrill of pushing my limits. The satisfaction of knowing I did my best is my reward. I don’t care about ‘winning’ the race (although its a nice bonus). I care about achieving what I am capable of, and in doing so enhancing what I am capable of for the next go round

Instead, this weekend I found myself doing something else that is hard wired into humanity: adapting. Life threw some different obstacles at me than I had hoped. Obstacles that derailed my short term plans (and hopefully will not impact my long term ones). Obstacles that were a lot heavier and more dangerous than the ‘fun’ ones at those races, but require even more strength and resilience to surmount. Instead of racing, I adapted, and kept my focus on recovery. Because as much as I like challenges, I prefer the kind that isn’t going to kill me, and will enhance my wellness. Ironman is still at the top of my bucket list, but it would be crazy to try one today. I’m not there… yet. I know this. I am human, and as much as challenges and adaptations are part of my DNA… I’ve also got a brain, whose job it is to keep me reasonable – and alive

So yes, I’m rolling with the punches. I’m finding ways to get past whatever life throws at me. There will be plenty of other obstacle races in the future. And whatever obstacles I stumble upon, I’ll keep finding ways to get past them. Somehow

So this weekend is kind of a big weekend in the South Florida running community. Yesterday was the tropical 5K (which my friend Bryan won in convincing fashion!). I missed that. Then 25,000 runners took to the streets in the Miami Marathon and Half Marathon this morning. I missed that too (for the first time in 3 years). There was also the Mayors Mile and 5K in Davie. Yeah, I wasn’t there either. And finally tomorrow, the Raven will be running for the 15,000th consecutive day. Quite a milestone, but I won’t be able to join him

You see, this weekend (and for the past five weeks and who knows how many more) I’m living through something else Miami is famous for: bad drivers and dangerous cycling conditions. Unfortunately my concussion symptoms significantly worsened over this past week. I spent Thursday in the ER. Thankfully my CT brain scan came back with no extremely serious diagnosis. But I do need to follow up with a neurologist, and a chiropractor, and, and, and…

That hit and run over a month ago, it was the Christmas gift that keeps giving (migraines). I hope, I really hope it won’t take too much longer to heal. In the meantime, my health and fitness goals… yeah, right! And you know, who really needs to make a living anyway? I rent my brain for a living (I’m an IT consultant, or at least *was* prior to that crash). The long term repercussions of that hit remain to be seen, but short term I haven’t been myself. I’m trying to stay positive here, but it certainly isn’t easy. This has devastated my physical health and my running (which effectively is my emotional health). But time heals right? I hope so. I need to get back out there. The road and the trails are calling my name. But for now you can find me in bed, dreaming about running